Live Wire Radio | Radio Variety

When our writers found out Wil Wheaton was on the show, there was much rejoicing (yay!). We couldn’t wait to write a sketch for him to act in with us, and most of our ideas were Star Trek-focused. But what ended up airing was “Wil Wheaton Erotic Fan Fiction” (listen here). So that meant that a sketch we really liked ended up…you know where. Here it is in all its glory. 

by Trent Finlay on December 1, 2014 - 4:03pm.

1. Knifed in the gut while visiting young people

2. Accidentally drown while horsing around on a yacht with Jimmy Buffett

3. Choke on guacamole

4. Bees

5. Get caught in the crossfire of a narwhal fight

6. Hangglide into a poison factory whilst on fire

7. Axe to the groin or anything to the groin but mainly an axe

8. At the unforgiving hands of Nick Nolte

9. Sitting next to Grandma Agnes because of the racism

10. In Vermont

by Jason Rouse on November 17, 2014 - 6:35pm.

We're doing a members-only studio session with the very very funny Bob Odenkirk on Friday, October 24th at Mississippi Studios (3939 N. Mississippi Ave) at 4:30 (Doors at 4). You may know Bob as Saul from Breaking Bad, as the bumbling police chief from Fargo, or as half of the world's best comedy team on Mr. Show. This one's not to be missed. It's FREE & EXCLUSIVELY for members, so if you're not a member, JOIN TODAY!

Already a member? RSVP to and let us know you'll be there! (NOTE: RSVP required as space is limited!) 

by Trent Finlay on October 23, 2014 - 5:04pm.

Last week, the hilarious and loud Billy Eichner actually made David Letterman laugh (quite a feat!) with a great bit called "Celebrity Child or Kentucky Derby Winner"

After it aired, Live Wire's photographer, Jennie Baker emailed me and asked "On a past show, did Live Wire do a game asking someone to determine whether names on a list belonged to a Kentucky Derby horse or a celebrity's child?"

The answer is yes. In April of 2012, we recorded and aired a segment written and performed by Sean McGrath called, "Famous Race Horse or Child of Celebrity?"

Says McGrath about the coincidence: "If this was some Billy on the Street game that they did many years before I thought of it, then so be it and good for them. If not, then they should know I have plenty of ideas that are way better than that one that they shoulda stole."

They probably didn't steal the idea...comedy minds and the zeitgeist work in mysterious ways, and we're just a wee public radio show out of Portland with a podcast that can be heard worldwide. We're just saying that it sounds awfully familiar.

You can view our script and listen to our version from two years ago below. Eeeenteresting.

by Courtenay on September 19, 2014 - 12:20pm.

Pope Francis has been a bit controversial since his papacy began in March of 2013, due to what's perceived as his "more liberal" views and casual, conversational nature. We've discovered an internal memo outlining his schedule, which might provide some additional insight into his papal style.

by Jason Rouse on August 26, 2014 - 9:43am.

It’s summertime in the Northwest and for a lot of folks (not us!) that means barbecuing and smoking a lot of marijuana (which we would never do!). But sometimes you can smoke too much, and then where are you? You’re eating potato salad with your Aunt Marge, desperately trying to keep it together. Well, here are a few activities and scenarios that have been scientifically proven to keep you from wigging out to the max.

Mowing the lawn

Shaving your animal


More marijuana

Think of your favorite whole number

Prepare for a religious holiday


Kres pillas der alfa moontin

Watch the film Berlin Alexanderplatz

Take off your pants

Even more marijuana

Try listening only with your hands

Make an enemies list

Give to public broadcasting

Switch to cocaine

Make 100 phone calls in 100 minutes

Make a wet snack

Take a shower while eating peanut butter and pleasuring yourself

by Jason Rouse on August 21, 2014 - 10:44am.

Season: Spring 2014
Sketches: Various
Writer: Jason Rouse
Reason for rejection: Dumbness

Paco Relation
Dirk Plode
Van Island
Don Conman
Wordsworth Tanaka
Ash Quartz
Kelly Derper
Blanche Mooch
Sheridan Penis
Pueblo Taco
Diego Snickers
BooBoo Sillyface
Beverly Frontbutt
Tiger Bridgecock
Felicity Mumblesocks
Cora Ankleface
Fantasia Loosecheese
Clive Waterbag
Sylvia Nippleton
Trish Lakefeet
Blunt Christopher
P. Diddy

by Jason Rouse on July 17, 2014 - 4:05pm.

Every year, we spend the summer thinking of ways to make Live Wire a better experience for our live and listening audience, and this summer we're hoping you can help us. We've created a short survey (4 minutes! That's just 1/14th of an Orange is the New Black episode!) with questions about your listening and internet habits and we hope you'll take the time to fill it out.

Everyone who does will be entered to win TWO FREE TICKETS to our blowout season opener on September 9th and two Live Wire t-shirts!

Just fill out the survey here, and enter your email at the end for your chance to win.

As always, thank you for your time and support of the show! Can't wait to see you in the fall!

~The Live Wire Crack Research Team*

*Not researching crack.

by Trent Finlay on June 25, 2014 - 4:47pm.

Podcasts are so ubiquitous that it seems everyone you meet has one. Because of this trend, we gave Todd Glass (host of the The Todd Glass Show podcast) a truncated version of the following quiz, asking him to indicate which of the podcasts listed were real (a PODCAST) or fake (a SHMODCAST). Take the quiz yourself, and check the answers below see how you do! (Then listen to Todd take the quiz...did you do better or worse than an actual podcast professional?)

Exploring the potentially hazardous health effects of lawn chemicals on your companion animals.

Detroit standup comics Dean Travers and Shelly McMahon try to get regular people chatting while waiting for appointments in doctor’s offices, lawyer’s offices and principles offices.

Music super producer and “Was Not Was” musician Don Was’ monthly all access pass to all things that were once Was but are no longer.

Regular Updates and entertainment on and about the pork industry from your most-trusted pork professionals.

Gayle and Sharlene talk about what they're wearing, stalking and knitting while keeping a pair of needles ready for that ever-elusive perfect yarn.

Blake Ormond chronicles his mission to eat nachos once a day for a year. Each week features a different bean, meat, and cheese. This week is the Bolivian Pinto, llama meat and Aged Norwegian Manchego.

Podcasting about aviation on a wing and a prayer with Captain Jeff. Near misses, turbulence and living our faith at home and the workplace.

This weekly podcast explores what the world would look like if Maximilien Robespierre didn’t lead an opposition to the French war with Austria in February 1792, but instead supported the efforts of Jacques Pierre Brissot, the leader of the Girondist party.

Ever wonder what happens during your favorite behind-the-scenes podcast, “Podcast on Podcast?” Podcaster Dave Johnson examines his process of going behind-the-scenes for his behind-the-scenes podcast about your favorite podcasts.

A podcast about sexual anthropomorphism, furries, spirituality and internet culture.

1. Podcast
2. Shmodcast
3. Shmodcast
4. Podcast
5. Podcast
6. Shmodcast
7. Podcast
8. Shmodcast
9. Shmodcast
10. Podcast

by Jason Rouse on June 24, 2014 - 1:20pm.

Hi. It's summer, and we miss you. We also miss beer and delicious hamburgers, so we'd like to invite you to a Live Wire Happy Hour at Bar Bar (3939 N. Mississippi) next Thursday the 26th from 6-8p.m. All are invited, but Live Wire Members will get free New Belgium Sunshine Wheat beer and delicious Bar Bar fries and sliders! (Not a member? Well, that's just nuts. Join here.)

Join us on the beautiful patio at Bar Bar for:

  • Conversation!
  • Cold beverages!
  • A game of Cards Against Humanity if we all agree to not sue each other for being terrible people!
  • Possible french fry overindulgence and shared guilt!
  • Laughs*

The winner of Cards Against Humanity will receive two free tickets to see The Von Trapps at Mississippi Studios that very night (6/26)!

Our staff, cast and crew would love to see you, so don't be a summer bummer and come out for the fun!

Sorry we said the summer bummer thing.

Live Wire

*Laughter is expected but not guaranteed.

by Trent Finlay on June 19, 2014 - 3:27pm.

The Wayback Machine