Improbable Action Heroes | Live Wire Radio

The fact that “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” and “The Raven” (wherein Edgar Allen Poe tracks down a serial killer) were made frankly peeves us a bit, as we pitched some VERY similar ideas to the studios and they didn’t buy them, including:

Millard Fillmore, Werewolf Assassin
Zachary Taylor, Fillmore’s predecessor, didn’t die of Cholera. He was a known lycanthrope that Fillmore was forced to kill with a silver bullet from the musket in the vice presidential cabinet marked, “In case of Presidential Werewolf, break glass.” Fillmore kills half of congress, partly due to a rash of lycanthropy, and partly due to their refusal to vote with him on the compromise of 1850. 
Memorable line: That’s not rabies!

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, zombie slayer
Browning’s Jamaican roots come back to haunt her, literally, as a voodoo curse is cast over her Victorian estate and the surrounding village. Thankfully, her husband Robert Browning is a master of the ancient art of Jiu Jitsu, and they save the village through various immobilizing neck holds and face kicks.
Memorable line: How will I eviscerate thee? Let me count the ways.

J.D. Salinger and the night of the Banshees
Banshees invade Cornish, New Hampshire, forcing Salinger to come out of hiding. He kills them with a ray gun loaded with ennui.
Memorable line: Auuuughhhhhhhhgurgle!!

Dreamworks, we await your call.