Best News
Luke and Elena discuss Fat Bear Week, Trader Joe's sample resurgence, and Russell Crowe's charitable donations.
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Luke Burbank: Hey there. Welcome to the Best News podcast from Live Wire brought to you by Alaska Airlines. This is the show where we talk about what is good in the news. Well, really what we do is we spend days finding good news. Well, really, what we do is we have our production fellow Tanvi spend days finding what is good in the news and then we spend like about 25 minutes talking about it. My name is Luke Burbank, by the way. Right over there, my friend Elena Passarello. Hello.
Elena Passarello: Hi. How's it going?
Luke Burbank: It's going really well. Week 28 of the Best News Podcast. Now I am recording my part of the show from Chicago, Illinois, because I am out here doing a TV story about a young person named Miles. He's six years old and he is, for my money, the best six year old musician slash music producer in America. And I just got done interviewing him. It was quite illuminating. And you know about this guy, too.
Elena Passarello: Oh, I'm such a fan. He did a cover of Return of the Mac that like six people sent me because Return of the Mac is my second favorite song after, of course, Yakety Sax.
Luke Burbank: You know, he got a DM from Questlove after that song, made the rounds, and Questlove sent him a special Questlove drum kit as a, I don't know, an honorarium for his incredible cover of Return of the Mac. So anyway, I am feeling very good this week. I know you though once again come to the Best News listening audience with a mea culpa.
Elena Passarello: Yeah. I mean, I know we're not getting a ton of mail, but I am getting a lot of mail. I'm getting a lot of corrections. My friends, my family. I quickly accidentally referred to James Madison as the third president of the United States. And I need to go on record by saying that, no, that's not true. The third president was, of course, T Jeff, Thomas Jefferson and Madison was numero cuatro.
Luke Burbank: So you're only off by one. I didn't even know either of those people were president.
Elena Passarello: You did know.
Luke Burbank: I mean, you think I'm kidding, but like, do you got George Washington, Barack Obama, aviator glasses? That's pretty much what I got. That's my awareness of the U.S. presidents.
Elena Passarello: Do you think our current U.S. president is named president aviator glasses?
Luke Burbank: That's not what you've been hearing?
Elena Passarello: Now in my brain, he will always be called as such. Aviator glasses.
Luke Burbank: I think the fact that you were within one position on James Madison's presidency is truly impressive.
Elena Passarello: Horseshoes and hand grenades.
Luke Burbank: Okay. So it's been a tough week for you because you're getting a lot of scrutiny within your family who comprises most of the listeners to this show. You're getting grief from them over the Madison thing, but you're also happy because you're coming off of the natural high for you. That is Fat Bear Week.
Elena Passarello: I love Fat Bear Week so much it's over now. I'm having that sort of like post-Christmas, you know, sort of feeling where I'm kind of sweeping away the tinsel.
Luke Burbank: But it was post bear-dom depression, I believe they call it.
Elena Passarello: Yeah. Is this what it feels like when the playoffs of baseball is over?
Luke Burbank: I wouldn't know Elena because the Seattle Mariners are still in the playoffs. It was all I could do this week to stifle my excitement about how they got there. They had a an incredibly, incredibly unlikely, statistically improbable comeback a while ago when they were playing the Toronto Blue Jays. And it is still all these days later giving me life. But yes, it is what it feels like. What you're talking about after Fat Bear Week is over is probably what it feels like to me when my sports team that I love is eliminated from competition.
Elena Passarello: Well, I'm glad it's still fat baseball week for you.
Luke Burbank: So for people that don't know what is Fat Bear Week.
Elena Passarello: The Katmai Nature Preserve just basically sends footage of its biggest, nastiest bears and most beautiful and wonderful bears. They could be male or female. There's stats about them and then you can bracket it down and vote on them. And this year's winner is literally like the size of two frigid dares. And his name is 747.
Luke Burbank: Oh, that's so good. Isn't he like a returning champ or something?
Elena Passarello: I think so, yeah. He because he's on Brooks River in Katmai and he's just always big and he's always getting bigger and he eats something like 15 large sockeye salmon in an hour. He's a former champ. I mean, you can't I don't know what is the is he a Federer? Is that a thing?
Luke Burbank: I have to say tennis is a bit of a blind spot for me, but I'm willing to say he's the Roger Federer of being a fat bear. The idea is that these bears are loading up on the fat layers because they're again, hibernating. They're going to need it. Yeah. So this is not just an an exercise in gluttony. This is something that's biologically critical for them. And the idea that the the fish would be running and that the elements would be right so that they can actually do what they need to do in this day and age. Elena In this economy, it's like it's a relief to see nature working properly.
Elena Passarello: And some of these bears get so fat they can barely walk to their hibernation spots. It's just I mean, and it really shows you how the extremes that are required for an ecosystem to thrive. And also it's just super fun. I love Fat Bears. Who doesn't?
Luke Burbank: All right. Let's talk about the best news out there in the wider world. Speaking of maybe getting a little bit wider, I know usually I'll ask you for what you've been seeing and then I'll answer. But it feels like such a natural segway from indulgent Bear Week to the best news that I saw this week, which is that Trader Joe's is bringing back samples. I'm going to be like 747 in my local TJ's just wandering through grazing. I will sample things that I just in normal life would never be interested in, just because of the fact that it's free. It's often, you know, a nice person there with a hairnet who's been like sauteing something up in one of those little like hot dish things, I don't even know what you call those, but you know
Elena Passarello: Like a Sterno thing.
Luke Burbank: Yeah the little frying pan deal they've just randomly set up in the produce section or something. Like, I love free samples so much, and I guess they sort of waited longer than some of the other stores like Costco brought their samples back a while ago. Of course, all of these stores stopped doing it because of the pandemic. Costco brought theirs back, Whole Foods brought theirs back. And now finally, Trader Joe's has has brought back their free samples if you can find a parking spot, because, I mean, there's nothing more challenging than trying to find parking in a Trader Joe's parking lot. But now if you do that and you go in, you can actually get some sweet, sweet samples, although they are not bringing the coffee back as of right now.
Elena Passarello: Oh, they used to have coffee?
Luke Burbank: They used to have little like little Dixie cups, but not because the wax would melt. But you know what I mean? Like that size little cups of free coffee in the back, too.
Elena Passarello: Like a little mouthwash sized.
Luke Burbank: Yeah, exactly. That's exactly the size, honestly. Like, I like there was a little pick me up in the middle of the shopping day, you know, go back there, get a free little cup of coffee, wander the aisles of the Trader Joe's. You know, I know I've told this story before I can remember was on the show or not. But, you know, my mom's job for a good while was she did the samples at Costco.
Elena Passarello: Oh, yeah. Does she have secrets? Like, does she know? Like, things that we would never know?
Luke Burbank: Yes. One of them was that pierogis were the most difficult. She never wanted to be on pierogies. Because apparently cleaning the pierogi station was very difficult when you were done. So there's like some of the samples that were like an easy breakdown and some of them that were more challenging. But like, I would go into that Costco and I would see my mom that I'd be like, I know a celebrity. Susie Burbank slinging the samples at the local Costco there in Silverdale, Washington.
Elena Passarello: You know, I always think about like what it would be like to be a baby because for like a lot of babies for the first like couple of years of their life, you just watch people's faces light up when they see you. You know, you just you just must feel like this that everyone's delight is your orbit. And I bet that's what Susie Burbank used to feel like when she manned the pierogi station at Costco or any or the Trader Joe's people. Like you're just making people a little delighted and you must really feel good.
Luke Burbank: Everybody is happy to see you. I will tell you, long before my mom worked there, she and my dad would regularly eat their entire lunch there out of samples. They would show up on an empty stomach with the very, very intentional plan of sampling every single thing until they had consumed a complete meal. If they weren't at the Costco, they were at the IKEA, where they also loved to have lunch. Now, because they're both kind of semi-retired, you know, like IKEA, Swedish meatballs and other, you know, delicacies from Scandinavia. I was like, Is that something you're into? She goes, No, but it's so cheap. And there's just nothing that typifies my mom's worldview and my dad, for that matter, than let's go eat some meatballs we don't want because they're like a dollar 20.
Elena Passarello: Imagine if they were free samples.
Luke Burbank: Oh, boy. Forget it. You couldn't get them out of there. What's the best news that you saw this week, Elena?
Elena Passarello: I'm going to go for the celebrity hat trick. Burbank. Two weeks ago, I had some Elton John news. Last week, I had some fabulous Lizzo News. I've got more celebrity news. I want you to guess what celebrity I'm going to be talking about.
Luke Burbank: Okay. This is a turning of the tables because on the radio show, I quiz you about geographical locations in America at the beginning of every show. Can I get a hint of some kind?
Elena Passarello: Well, let me start by giving you the geographic location. Maybe you can guess. The story takes place in England's first UNESCO's city of literature. It's an incredibly literary place. It was where Juliet of Norwich wrote her medieval proto essays about mustard seeds.
Luke Burbank: I'll stop you right there. Now, you've given the whole thing away. Elena, this is no fun. I literally don't even know what country you're talking about. Even though you said England.
Elena Passarello: What about. How about this one? This is. You always do this for me. You give me a hard one and then you give me, like a easier one. The noted essayist and translator, WG Sebald, was an expat who lived and taught there for the last 30 years of his life.
Luke Burbank: Ipswich.
Elena Passarello: Close you got the itch
Luke Burbank: Lower Unkton.
Elena Passarello: You're in the witch. No, you got to stick with the witches. It's Norwich. Norwich.
Luke Burbank: Norwich. That was definitely my fourth itch. I was going to guess.
Elena Passarello: But Norwich is like a super literary place for all of those reasons. It's got a great university. The first major creative writing MFA program and also bookshops galore. Lots of different bookshops to suit your needs. Maybe your new favorite bookshop might be. Book Bugs and Dragon Tales, which is pretty new on the scene. It's an all children's bookstore in Norwich that opened, unfortunately right before the pandemic hit. So they opened and then they had to close. And now, like most places in the world, inflation and cost of living has gone up. And so it's been a really rough road for Book Bugs and Dragon Tales. So they started an online campaign last weekend to raise £15,000, to cover six months of expenses and to get started so they could do a little more outreach ala, our best friend Dolly Parton, into children's literacy programs. So they go online and within hours of the launch, they're doing pretty good. And then all of a sudden, really, really early in the campaign, a donation appears that covers a third of their ask, a £5,000 ask, can you guess who the celebrity is that saved this books store's bacon.
Luke Burbank: Are they are they English?
Elena Passarello: No. But I do believe the queen is on their money.
Luke Burbank: Was it one of the Queen's Corgis who she left a lot of money to?
Elena Passarello: Yes, it was pundit, the corgi.
Luke Burbank: Okay, so now I'm guessing this person is Canadian.
Elena Passarello: Wrong.
Luke Burbank: All right. Can I get another hint?
Elena Passarello: Yes. He has worn a skirt in a he's a he and he's worn a skirt in a thing.
Luke Burbank: Harry Styles.
Elena Passarello: No, but he has hairy legs named after a bird. A black bird. I'll see you now or I'll see you. Glad later.
Luke Burbank: Russell Crowe.
Elena Passarello: I was trying to do something with The Insider, but I couldn't figure out how to make you laugh.
Luke Burbank: You're taking a Russell Weigand joke. Why is it that? Why? Why does the human brain remember? Why do I remember the character? I don't know if it's Russell Weigand. It wasn't Geoffrey Weigand, I believe, was the name Jeffrey.
Elena Passarello: That's right.
Luke Burbank: Why would my brain remember that much of that information, but not know that Norwich is a place in England. Okay. So Russell Crowe saw that this thing was going on in Norwich and gave them five grand.
Elena Passarello: And it wasn't even like a Hello, this is Russell Crowe. Worst impression ever. He just was like randomly, maybe through a friend of a friend, saw it on social media, dropped £5,000 and then it just showed up on their donation. Russell Crowe £5,000. And then they told him, Well, since you've donated it at this level, you get a free card that gets you 10% off books for life. And he was like, Keep it and frame it.
Luke Burbank: That is awesome.
Elena Passarello: Yeah. I love I mean, the only other thing I know Russell Crowe is donated to is he was filming a show in my beloved Pittsburgh and a friend of mine has a really nice apartment. And Russell Crowe apparently just stocked it with all the appliances that he likes and then he just left them there. And so my other friend Patio, my BFF got some of these left behind Russell Crowe appliances. And that's why Patio has a Nespresso. He has Russell Crowe's Nespresso.
Luke Burbank: We don't know if this was charity from Russell Crowe or just not wanting to deal with flying the Nespresso back to wherever it was that he was going next. So just kind of got left behind.
Elena Passarello: Yeah, but why can't that can be considered charity? He could have.
Luke Burbank: Absolutely. I like that idea. That means I was very charitable when I moved out of Brooklyn. I had this like third floor walk up and it was great, other than the fact that it was sweltering. And so I got these big air conditioners I bought down at P.F. Richard and Sons, and they're so heavy, I couldn't drive them home. I had to get a couple of guys with a van who were hanging out outside the store to drive me and these air conditioners and my daughter back to my apartment. I installed them by screwing them into the windowsill because they were heavy. I did want them to fall out and then decided I was leaving New York like two weeks later. So whoever's living on sixth, right off the park in Park Slope. You're welcome. If you got those. I'm the Russell Crowe of air conditioners.
Luke Burbank: Coming up on the radio show this week, we are going to be talking to Sona Movsesian. She is Conan O'Brien's assistant. She's been doing that job for like the last 12 years. And the kind of the shtick is that she's really bad at the job of being his assistant, which means she's also really good at being one of his sidekicks. On the podcast, Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Well, now she's written a book about the whole thing. It's a memoir. It's called The World's Worst Assistant. And she talks in the book, and she's going to talk to us about being bad at your job, but in such a way that they kind of can't fire you. That's been like really her sweet spot with Conan. Also, her plan someday, if she needs to, to run a crime ring. She's going to talk about that, too. Plus, we're going to hear some standup comedy from the very funny Marcella Arguello talking about the politics of airport parking. And then we're going to hear some music from Portland's very own duo, Brown Calculus. So make sure you check that out. That will be in this very podcast feed on Friday and then on radio stations all over the country sometime this weekend. This. All right. That is going to do it for this week's episode of The Best News podcast. Thank you so much for our team of folks who make the show possible. Laura Hadden is our executive producer. Our producer and editor is Melanie Sevcenko. Our assistant editor is Trey Hester and our production fellow is Tanvi Kumar. Molly Pettit is our technical director and mixer. Our theme music is composed by A. Walker Spring. And thanks to you, our listeners. Hey, send us an email. Why don't you? Or not? Whatever. I don't put pressure on people. Our email is Best News at Live Wire Radio dot org. All right. Thanks for listening and will be back here next week with another episode of the show. In the meantime, please head on out there while it's still nice and have the absolute best week.
